When Can We Be Burnt Out?

When growing up, if I or anyone around my age talked about being tired, someone older than me would tell me “you’re too young to be tired!” Even now I find myself constantly questioning if I have a “right” to be burnt out by my workload. I am only twenty-two, I just finished school, and I work about five days a week at a grocery store. Then again, I wonder, what determines when you’re “allowed” to feel exhausted? What age are people “allowed” to express being tired or burnt-out without being faced with judgement from those around them?

Sometimes things pile up on one another and it can feel like the world is caving in on itself. Those issues don’t necessarily have to be school work, relationship issues, or other major life events. Sometimes, it’s just tiring to try to keep up with every day life like cleaning, relaxing, or errands. It is also very tiring to keep up with emotions and feelings as well. Yet oddly enough, it is frowned upon when a person feels overwhelmed by those “small” issues. There needs to be a better understanding as to what causes burnout and that it is not just one specific way. There are many different factors that affect each person differently. While scrolling on Instagram one day, this post by therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab came to my attention, which inspired this piece:

Someone may go into work every day and seem completely fine, but meanwhile they are carrying the burden of everyone's different problems and their own mental struggles. Being weighed down by emotions can be just as detrimental as being overwhelmed by assignments and deadlines. It is very difficult to focus on work whenever there is a lack of appreciation or fulfillment in day-to-day activities.

I have also learned the weight that other people’s emotions can have on a person. There are several people in my personal life (and I’m sure many others) that feel as if they have to please everyone. This “superhero syndrome” can make someone feel like someone always has to say yes to situations they may not normally be comfortable with being involved in. It is very taxing to constantly be putting others before oneself. There has to be a fine line between taking on peoples’ personal emotions as ones own and just helping someone with their problems. There are ways to give advice without actually making their issues pile on top of ones own personal problems. It is possible to love someone close to you and be there for them without constantly having to be available at the drop of a pin.

Nedra Glover Tawwab actually posted an image after about how to handle these causes of burnout in a healthy way. The post expressed that people have to put themselves first from time-to-time. It is healthy to plan for time to be alone and enjoy personal hobbies and passions. There needs to be limits as to how much person will take on and do for others. It is okay to say no and moderate workload for mental health.

It may be hard to understand why someone is exhausted when they seem to have less work than others. Society should be more compassionate towards those who are overwhelmed by less than others may be. Not everyone can take on the same amount of work at once. Hopefully next time someone expresses their burnout, instead of talking about how much you have on your plate, maybe take a second to let that person express what's going on in their life.

*Please check out Nedra Glover Tawwab on Instagram @nedratawwab or at her website www.nedratawwab.com*