22 Things I Learned At 22

Twenty-two years have come and gone and every year I feel like I learn something new and find a new way to expand my wisdom. When I turned twenty-two, many different thoughts flooded my mind other than the popular Taylor Swift song. Even since just last year, I have grown so much and learned so many new things.

Although my life has not been that long and I have many more years ahead of me to grow and mature, I do have a few things to share. In my life, I have been married, I have moved a little under 600 miles away from home, I’ve lost and gained many friends, and I’ve experienced things I never expected to have experienced at such a young age. As I slowly approach graduating college and preparing for the “real world” (whatever that means), I feel as if it is time to reflect on the many lessons I’ve learned.

Family should always be your number one priority. There were too many times as a stubborn teenager I pushed my family aside and put certain people or activities before them. Now as an adult living so far from home, I regret that. I realize now why my mom would get so upset when I would go out a lot. At times, I wish I could take that time back. You only get one family, and they love you no matter how many times you mess up.

1. You don’t have to make everyone happy. Throughout my life, I have been a people pleaser. I never wanted to make anyone upset with me or cause them to dislike me. I always thought that in order to make good friends or have a lasting relationship, you had to make sure you did whatever made that person happy. I find myself now asking, why would I do something that doesn’t bring me joy? Why put other peoples’ happiness over my own? My happiness is just as important as those I care about and I can’t make anyone happy if I am miserable; and that should be the same for everyone.

2. You don’t have to take life so seriously. For the longest time, I constantly stressed about every single decision I’ve made. I thought out everything in great detail, even if it was something as simple as a new t-shirt purchase. Now, I try not to stress about life as much because it makes it much less fun. This perspective has granted me happiness and security knowing that not every decision has to be a huge deal.

3. You should always try to see the best in people. It is really easy to focus on the negative things about people. Everyone has their quirks, but it makes for a much better mindset whenever you focus on the good things people have to offer to your life. Stressing about and focusing on all the bad parts of every person does nothing but hurt you.

4. Not everyone will think the same way as you, and that’s okay. There will be people who will argue about different topics with you and have completely different opinions than you. I have learned to use these opinions and ideas as a way to shape my own personal views and make rational decisions. It also has helped me to understand the world and the people in it a bit better. We should be using other peoples’ views as a way to add to our lives instead of letting it effect us negatively.

5. Grow from the negative things life throws at you. Life has not always been kind to me. There have been a lot of different battles I’ve had to face. After a lot of trial and error, I concluded that if I never learned from my mistakes and tried to grow from them, I would continue to be down on myself. I now look back at all the painful memories and realize that each event was a lesson and something that helped to shape me into the person I am today.

6. A lot of work goes into a healthy relationship/marriage. Getting married at only nineteen, I really realized how much work goes into a healthy relationship and marriage. Each type of relationship has different qualities that make it stronger. It’s not just kisses and I love you’s; its hard work, tough choices, and doing whatever is best for both of you. Building a life with someone is hard, and learning how to handle the hard stuff together and grow from both individually and as a couple is difficult, but worth it.

7. Accept help from people, and don’t be ashamed to ask for that help. I have always tried to be an independent person. I thought that asking for help was a sign of weakness and it made it seem like I wasn’t able to do things myself. No I know that that isn’t true. You can’t do everything on your own, and you shouldn’t feel like you have to. The people who offer to help you really care and they want to see you succeed, even if it means you need a little push.

8. Everyone is going to have an opinion about your life; don’t let it affect you. People will only concern themselves with what you are doing with your life whenever they don’t agree with it. Everyone seems to mind their own business until they don’t approve, then suddenly they want give you their opinion on it. I’ve learned to just do what makes me happy. Doing what makes you happy and being unapologetically yourself is the best way to get those people to leave you alone. Most of them do not want to see you doing something outside of their “norms,” and once you realize they don’t matter you will feel so much better.

9. It’s okay to go a little crazy sometimes; but know your priorities. Everyone has a wild phase. Partying is fun and exciting for a while, but there are more important things in life than having fun. I let my grades slip, I put my family on the back burner, and I really let myself get into some bad habits. Due to those experiences, I learned that I need to prioritize responsibilities before having fun. Plus, once all of your important work is done, unwinding is that much easier because your mind is at ease. Being an adult is hard and can be boring sometimes, but it is rewarding in the long run. Every time I feel like slacking off, I remind myself of what I am working towards.

10. There are much more important things than your appearance. I have struggled with body issues and self confidence my entire life. Society caused me to believe that you cannot succeed or be happy if you are not their definition of beautiful. Although I am still not very confident, I realized how unimportant my looks are compared to all the other great things in my life. I used to put on makeup for others and work out to lose weight to make other people think I was “pretty.” Now, I only put on makeup for myself, I go to gym to make myself feel confident, and I will never change my appearance to make anyone else like me again.

11. Don’t give up your hobbies or passions because you’re not “good at them.” I enjoy art and creating. People have told me I am talented but I don’t normally see it. When I don’t feel confident in what I’m creating, I continue because it makes me happy. Even if you aren’t the best at something whether that be makeup, drawing, building, whatever; you should still do it. If it brings you joy and fulfills your dreams, don’t stop because you aren’t “good at it.”

12. You will always be your biggest critic. This particular lesson I learned was because of the previous one. For the longest time I stopped drawing and painting because I didn’t think I was good at it. I am a perfectionist and I take everything I do very seriously. Sadly, that made me stop doing something I really enjoyed. We are so hard on ourselves but if you look at what you do from someone else’s perspective, you may realize you are more talented than you think.

13. A positive outlook can change your life. I tend to be a bit of a “negative Nancy.” I let one bad thing that happens to me ruin my entire day. I currently have been working on trying to have a more positive outlook on life overall. There isn’t really anything that bad that is worth ruining an entire day over.

14. Sorry doesn’t fix everything. I used to think that as long as you say sorry, everything is fine. Now that I’ve been in some arguments and actually had some experience with more people, I realized that not everything can be fixed with a “sorry.” Sometimes people’s mistakes don’t go away or get better after they said sorry to you, and visa versa. You can’t just say one word and make a huge fight or issue go away like it never happened. Sometimes you have to face the consequences head on and realize that even after you apologize the person may still be upset, and they have a right to feel that way; just as you do. That being said, I also try to be as forgiving as I can because I know that sometimes all you want is a second chance to make things right and when someone isn’t willing to give you that it is heartbreaking.

15. Not all of your friendships will last forever, and that’s okay. I have had a lot of different friends come in and out of my life. Some just faded out because we got older and others left because of arguments or we just didn’t connect the same. I have even had some friends come back into my life after not speaking for a long time. There are a few very close people I keep in my inner circle that I have gone through almost everything with. I learned to hold those people close to me and not get as upset when others leave. As long as you have those select few that you are able to work through anything with, you don’t really need anyone else. Not everyone has to be a permanent part of your life. I still look back on those memories with those people and smile, but I know that some things aren’t meant to last. I’m sure as time goes on I will lose more people and gain others.

16. There’s nothing wrong with admitting you were wrong. I mostly learned this from my husband. I used to always want to defend everything I did and try to turn the issue around on others. This was an extremely toxic trait of mine, and it needed to change in order to hold on to the good people in my life. We are all human, and we are all wrong sometimes. No one knows everything and it is okay to realize you may not be educated enough about something to talk about it or be proved wrong about something. I love to learn and grow from these things and prefer to be told when I do something wrong. How are you going to make things right if you never knew you were wrong in the first place?

17. Try to be understanding of the bitter people at the grocery store. I have worked in retail for a really long time. I have mostly worked in grocery stores and my work experience in these places has been nothing less than eventful. I still complain about it and have to take care of some very rude people. Although customer service is rough at times and the public can be very bitter and unforgiving, I know that sometimes people have a reason to be upset we may not even know about. Sometimes you have to think about what may be going on in their personal life. I may think their issues are silly or ridiculous, but to them they may be a big deal. Maybe that dollar off of their bill would help them pay their mortgage. Maybe they lost someone close to them recently and they’re struggling to be happy. Maybe that phone call they’re taking loudly in the middle of the line is about their child and they need to take care of it right there and then. You never know someone’s story so when a stranger is mean to you, don’t let it ruin how you feel about the general public. Why let one bitter old man ruin your day? It isn’t worth it.

18. Don’t let people walk all over you. I am very soft-spoken and sensitive. I don’t like it when people are mad at me or upset, so I tend to be a bit of a pushover. I have been taken advantage of more times than I can count and I am not proud of those moments. Now, I know my worth and realized that I do not deserve to be talked down on and used for other peoples’ personal gain. I am able to stand up for myself when needed and speak out against those who have wronged me.

19. People do care, even if you think they don’t. Sometimes when life gets you down, it is easy to think that you have no one around you who cares. Loneliness is sometimes brought on by distancing yourself from those who care whenever you are upset and that is unfair to those around you. There are a lot of people who love and care about you in your life even when you don’t want them to or don’t realize it.

20. Being an adult is kind of lame. When growing up, a lot of people tend to talk about how they can’t wait to move out and be on their own. To be able to make their own decisions and buy whatever they want. I’ve realized that growing up and moving into your own home is not all that it cracks up to be. It is stressful and exhausting but worth it in the end. Even though I may enjoy my independence, I miss the days of having no responsibilities and thinking my biggest issue is what I would wear to school the next day. Sometimes it's fun to act like a kid again, allow yourself to do so.

21. You don’t have to have it all figured out right now. Everyone does things at their own pace and you don’t have to have every bit of life figured out at twenty-two. Whether you’re graduating college, working full time, or just trying to work out what you want to do for the rest of your life, that’s okay! Work towards your goals, but beating yourself up if you fail a few times will do nothing. Not everyone’s life is the same and progresses at the same pace, and that is perfectly fine.